Enraged Minnesotans have taken to making signs and chanting in protest. Many of the signs reference an ‘ICE’. After much investigation, The Shallot has learned that ‘ICE’ stands for “Ice Cold Executives”.
Many Minnesotans were left devastated after the Vikings’ front office’s bewildering decision not to sign Super Bowl-winning quarterback Sam Darnold, who was on the Vikings’ roster last season. After a season in which Darnold received three MVP votes, the Vikings opted not to pay him, instead betting on either JJ McCarthy or Max Brosmer, the two quarterbacks with the worst records in NFL history.
By comparison, Sam Darnold is now one of only two quarterbacks to win 14+ games in consecutive seasons, putting him with the likes of the former husband of a world-famous supermodel, Tom Brady. Brady himself stated after Darnold’s win that “watching Darnold play has made me happy for the first time since Gisele left me.”
Many fans are calling it the worst move made by an executive since Pringles changed their logo to identify with their millennial, minimalistic customers. The “Ice Cold Executives” signs are helping fans release this pent-up frustration. At times, it seemed like the entire city of Minneapolis had taken to the streets in protest.