The Shallot has realized that it can be a force for good in the NEK. After the Tik Tok account VT bops was brought into a criminal investigation regarding the derogatory posts made about area students the Shallot realized that we could be of great service. The essentially limitless budget of the second most popular news source in the world coupled with financial backing from a member of OCSU’s leadership team who promised to make most of the money “appear.”
Tik Tok was trying to lengthen out the process of giving information after a subpoena was issued but by simply buying the popular platform not only will the Shallot be able to ensure that people are getting the real news, but this process of getting the IP address from the suspect who created this inflammatory account that has many personal accusations about area students personal lives and posts pictures of them without their consent that include even more people in the background who also didn’t give their permission for their image to be on Tik Tok.
The Shallot also has plans for the future of Tik Tok. First we will relocate the servers to the Cayman Islands in the caribbean where regulations are much less stringent than China. Getting people to work there is also cheaper the relocating to the US which wouldn’t be financially prudent for the Shallot. Although we will be helpful to law enforcement on the aforementioned case, our tax records for both Tik Tok, and the Shallots other holdings will be very similar to those of the president elect. We as an editorial board also know that our funding from the district office may depend on us giving them free advertising of jobs such as the Principal of LRUHS, and superintendent of the district, both of which they view as very important.
The Shallot will remain the flagship news organization of the NEK, and if anyone else has detective work they need simplified we encourage them to reach out to us through our website. With limitless resources and the power of the truth anything is possible.
