My truck’s name was Ruby, but it was not even close to such a thing. I bought it for one dollar and drove it home in a snowstorm with bald-ass tires.  It was a 97 Ranger single-cab 2WD and ran like absolute garbage. It burned oil and had a bad transmission. But the paint was pristine. 

The first good memory I had in Ruby was at Gov’s house last winter. I drove over to his house and he had an old recliner in the yard. I grabbed an extension cord and tied it around the legs of the recliner. Gov hopped in the recliner and I pulled him down the road at around 40 mph. He flew off into a snowbank and that was enough for the day.

Another good memory I had in my truck was with Nate Richardson. I picked him up and we were driving around at midnight. Nate pointed out to me this beautiful empty parking lot and I couldn’t resist. I floored it and whipped right into the lot. Not even two minutes of fun went by and this old lady drove into the lot and started screaming. Me and Nate were dying laughing because she had the Karen haircut and was being so over-dramatic.  She threatened to call the police and we both thought she was kidding. 

She left and we kept messin’ around. Ten minutes went by and we were just sitting in the lot now, eating our McDonald’s, and a cop pulled up. The cop said he got a call about two reckless teens putting other people’s lives in danger.  He said he knew that we were just messing around but he had nothing better to do. He was a very nice guy and just sent us on our way home. 

The last memory I had with my truck was when I was on my way home from Gov’s house. I had stopped at the stop sign by the fairgrounds in Barton and was about to go, when I heard “bang klunk bash boom.” My tranny was done.  I put it in 1st and it would go, then 2nd and it went, but I was missing 3rd, 4th,  and 5th.  So I drove for about a week in second gear just waiting for it to blow a rod to the moon, but luckily it didn’t, and I sold it a week later for $50 and got to keep the wheels, tires, and cats. 

I give Ruby five stars.